Same Topic

Synchronicity is grand.  It seems that over the last couple of weeks so much of what has attracted my attention has been vision-related.  I go to the bookstore:  a new book by Oliver Sachs called The Mind's Eye, all about people who have had varying degrees of blindness and their experiences with navigating the world.  What richness of adaptation!  Another find:  a CD by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, called "Seeing in the Dark" where she relates the journey into the intuitive, creative nature.  Of course, the key question to pose is "What would You have me do now?"

For some great podcasts on spiritual practices:  Sounds True Insights at the Edge

On the Topic of Vision

 
There are two aspects of Vision that I have been working with over the last couple of weeks. One is on the purely physical level. I have had an ongoing retinal problem (Presumed Ocular Histoplasmosis Syndrome) that has caused me to lose the central vision in my right eye and can become active in the left eye at any time. It has been some years since I have experienced those types of issues in the left eye, but a week ago, I noticed quite a lot of floaters in my left eye – it was definitely unusual, although I did not notice the distortion or shadowing that I would have had with a flare up of the inflammation. So I hauled myself into the Bay Area to see the retina specialist.
My visual field in that left eye at the moment includes about 20 little black dots that move as my eye moves. It’s almost like a constellation of stars – in reverse. Instead of shining, they’re dark.

The five days before I saw the doctor were anxious ones. I didn’t know if this was a harbinger of the “bad times” again and I reviewed all of the plans I’d made years ago the last time I was dealing with the problem. What I wanted to do if all the treatments failed? How would I live my life? Etc etc etc. My job depends on me being able to see, so how would I cope with that? (low vision aides for the computer) Driving! Oh boy, there’s a big one. I’ll work from home, give up the office and rope off my work space. And reading. My photography, what would I do about that? I’ve heard of blind photographers, but have no idea how that works exactly. Anyway, I realized that no matter what, I would be able to concoct a high quality of life, with room for things I love doing, some form of practical work/means of income and a creative life.

The examination gave my left eye a clean bill of health. He saw no inflammation at all. I just have some annoying floaters. Gratitude and relief don’t even begin to cover describing what I felt with that news.

Meanwhile, on a spiritual level, I asked myself what is it that I am supposed to see that I am not seeing? Is there something I’m closing my eyes to? Some sign I’ve blocked from sight? It seems that right now, I am prompted to really look inside. What IS the vision for how I want to lead the rest of my life? Those are the questions I’m grappling with now. I don’t have answers yet, but think those answers include service and connection. I don’t exactly know what that means yet.

A Complete Digression

Praying Horse must laugh sometimes.  I love these comics:  this one (and I hope I'm allowed to show you this without violating copyright), the original web site is at Dinosaur Comics and this particular one is dated July 22, 2009, but it never fails to make me laugh.  It so much reminds me of some of the silly weight loss ideas I've heard and of course the end result?  Bleh. 

Leptin Resistance

As I mentioned in the last post, I've been reading up on appetite hormones, specifically leptin. 

Leptin is a protein hormone that acts to regulate appetite, metabolism and energy levels.  If leptin is doing its job properly, it signals the brain how much energy your body has and how much is required - in other words, whether you need to eat because you are low on energy or whether you have enough energy and do not need to eat any more.  In the latter case, it should signal satiety.  Because it is manufactured primarily in the fat cells, the amount of leptin in your body is directly related to the amount of body fat you have. 

You would think that would mean that the appetite would decrease, but that is not the case. Unfortunately, for some of us, our bodies have become deaf to the leptin's message that we are full and should stop eating - our cells are unable to accept leptin's satiety messages and we keep eating.  In fact, most obese people have high levels of leptin and have become leptin resistant, in a similar way that some diabetics have become resistant to insulin. 

A WebMD article on appetite hormones levels quotes Louis Aronne, directory of the Comprehensive Weight Control Program at New York-Presbyterian Hospital:  "With leptin resistance, you don't feel full and the more you eat, the hungrier you may get."  Further, the article quotes Scott Kahan, co-director of the George Washington University Weight Management Program:  "The general public tends to think of 'fat' people as lazy and as having no willpower [but] it couldn't be further from the truth...There is no question that certain people are preconditioned to gain weight more easily and more quickly regain weight after dieting."

So, what to do?  It will come as absolutely no surprise that a proper diet and exercise were mentioned again and again as the key.  Almost all of the articles I read also recommended that snacking be limited and that one should eat three well-balanced and nutritiously healthy meals, making sure to get plenty of protein.  I don't know about this part of the recommendation - it is certainly not what I do, even though I am pretty sure that if I am not now still leptin resistant then I certainly was in the past.  I actually eat 6 - 7 times a day consisting of three medium-sized meals and three or four small snacks.  I'm not sure what the rationale is behind the three meals only recommendation, just passing on what I found in my reading.

Some Links:
Alternative Health for Today:  Insulin and Leptin Resistance - Information Worth Knowing
Sharecare: What is Leptin Resistance
Suite101: Overcome Leptin Resistance with Exercise
WebMD: Some Dieters Are Set Up to Regain Weight
Harvard Gazette: Shining Light on Leptin's Role in the Brain
eHow: How to Check Leptin Levels

While I'm working on a post about appetite hormones (trying to sort everything out is interesting to say the least), I'd like to "show off" this super-sweet blog award I received from my sister in spirit and fellow blogger at When The Spirit Moves Me, and also offer this lovely yoga invocation.

My hubby and I have been taking a Yoga Basics class on Monday nights since early spring, and we just adore the class.  Anyone in the Oakhurst area, it's at the Old Mill Studio/Pure Heart Wellness Center.

For My Sisters

Sisters, we weep with grief
Shout with anger
Tremble in fear
Stand tall in joy.

We grow strong as the biggest tree
Deep as the deepest well
Wise as the elders.

We echo and call
and call
and call.

We dream our circle to life.
Within, we cradle the newest
being – the babe we feed
with the nectar
of the goddesses and gods
the whatever is.
All of that.

We are spread about with sunshine
We are covered in rain
We soar with the wind
push up the green shoots.
Our legs are roots
Our bodies living wood
Our arms move in worship
We dance between the stars.

I’ve heard we are made of stars.
We are old as the oldest
We are the blackest night
And the newest light.

Formed from the dust of the galaxies
Conjured from lust and need
the moans of pleasure
slick seed
and yes.

We birth the mountains from our wombs,
Bring forth the seas.
From between our thighs,
the scent of ancient sands.
The old queens whose hands
hold the scepters
bestow the mysteries.

All that is.
All that is.